The Beginning of Journaling Aloud

There was a time in my life where I was very open to ne people and tell them how much they are loved. It did matter if it was a stranger or a familiar face, I had not anxiety, no fear and no self doubt of who God called me to be. Over time and year of experience I discovered that I was no longer the charismatic, approachable, Ivory, I was the shielded, private, caterpillar locked in a cocoon that I allowed myself to be trapped in.

Life experiences and false friendships truly got the best of me. I no longer wanted nor desired to be vulnerable because

vulnerability made me susceptible to hurt. At some point I told myself that was enough. I needed to find ME and get her back. I made up my mind that I was determined to flourish. I was no longer willing to be in a state of dormant metamorphosis! So I started to write, and write and write until the notebooks were filled and I had nothing left in my heart to pour out. 

There was a relief that I can not describe. A good word for it is it felt like emptiness. I left everything on paper. But I still did not feel whole. What was missing? Journaling is good right?

Then I recalled the word of the Lord that says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Mathew 11:28 NKJV) 

So I went before the Lord and I read to him. I read everything that was in those notebooks aloud then I laid every fear, every form of weariness, every form of resentment and all the hurts before His feet.

Then the Lord spoke to me Psalm Chapter 45. I was unfamiliar with this chapter so I opened it to read. That's when I saw my name Ivory.

I continued reading. And in verse 10 it says  Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:   

Forget your people and your father’s house.

11 Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;

    honor him, for he is your lord.

12 The city of Tyre will come with a gift,[d]

    people of wealth will seek your favor.

13 All glorious is the princess within her chamber;

    her gown is interwoven with gold.

14 In embroidered garments she is led to the king;

    her virgin companions follow her—

    those brought to be with her.

15 Led in with joy and gladness,

    they enter the palace of the king.

16 Your sons will take the place of your fathers;

    you will make them princes throughout the land.

17 I will perpetuate your memory through all generations;

    therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.

I had an in depth revelation from this scripture. Then dormant metamorphosis transformed into a change in thinking, a shift in perspective,  movement where there was stagnation. The process of Journaling Aloud, presenting myself before the Lord helped me find me again, yet so much better than the me I knew before; Ivory Channell became free.

Just like a butterfly. So I use the symbol of the butterfly as a reminder of the freedom that I found in knowing God personally. The beautiful thing about it, it that freedom is available to us all and when we embrace it, there is absolutely nothing that can hold us back.